Parenting Resolutions You Can Keep in 2021 | Counselling for Parents
Anyone probably never been more ready to say good-bye to a year than to say farewell to 2020.
As parents, we do the best we can each day to provide a great life for our children. Because ultimately what matters is to see them happy and thriving in their lives. But we’re also hard on ourselves. Even the most confident parents sometimes question if they’re doing the right things for their children. It’s in our nature to be the best version of ourselves for our children who look up to us.
It’s a great thing to aspire to and if we are looking to better ourselves in parenthood, healthy goals are the only key. We should set objectives that would help us grow as a parent and at the same time won’t diminish who you are as a mother or father to your children. They love you for who you already are as a parent.
So what’s on your list of New Year’s resolutions this year? Hit the gym more? Eat more greens? Meditate every day? These resolutions are all well and good and that’s why many of us write them out year after year. Believe me, I am cheering you on for those resolutions and at the same time I want you to look back on 2021 as the year you finally followed through on your important intentions.
A resolution that will influence your family for years to come. A resolution that would bring peace and joy into your lives in ways you’ve never imagined. A resolution that will have the power to reconnect you with your children in a meaningful way.
This is a resolution you can keep: Become that parent you’ve always wanted to be in 2021.
In order to make that resolution a reality, I want to share few practical things you can start doing today. This resolution is not about doing MORE, but about doing BETTER – both for you and for your children.
You CAN become the parent you’ve always aspired to and dreamt of being. Let’s not have the gym memberships or new workout routines or financial goals be the only resolutions you make this year. Resolve that you will be the best for the most important people in your life. Resolve to make these changes today and be guaranteed that you’ll enter 2022 with undeniable confidence as a parent.
1. One-On-One Time
When kids don’t get some “fully present and engaged” time with us during the day, they get their attention baskets filled one way or another – whining, clinging, interrupting, fighting with siblings are few you would be able to relate to.
Commit to spending uninterrupted and undistracted one-on-one time each day with each child. If you can make just one resolution this year, this one is the most important!
Once you resolve to spend just 10 minutes a day of uninterrupted, one-on-one time with each of your children, it helps in building emotional connections, reduces unwanted behaviours, and makes children more cooperative and happy throughout the day.
2. Improve Your Routines
Make a note of your morning, after-school, and bedtime routines. Are your kids refusing to brush their teeth, not dressed on time, or forgetting their homework? Then it’s time to work together as a family to implement some improved methods. Think of new routines and post them in strategic places so your kids won’t forget, and you won’t have to remind them.
Rearrange your evening routine so that the not-so-fun stuff like brushing teeth or picking out an outfit for the next day comes before the good stuff such as reading stories with Mom or Dad until lights out at 9:00 pm.
Also, put some WHEN – THEN routines in place. For example, WHEN your child is done studying his German verbs, THEN he can have 30 minutes of screen time. Or WHEN your daughter gets dressed, packs her backpack, and makes her bed, THEN she can play with her friends. Be sure the very last item in the routine–enjoying media time or playing with friends can happen only after the boring stuff is done.
3. Get Everyone to Pitch In
Kids of all ages thrive when they feel useful and needed, even if they simply put laundry away and fold towels. Also, when you divide up the work, you start feeling less harried and better able to enjoy your family.
Resolve to make this year the last year that you shoulder the burden of housework alone! Each of your kids should be required to do some age-appropriate, meaningful chores that contribute to the family’s daily life. Teach them stepwise and enable them to help you make this change. This way not only you will get some help, but your kids will also learn valuable lessons about teamwork and accountability.
4. Yell Less, Breathe More
Parenting is stressful. And hence getting angry and frustrated is understandable. A lot of studies show that yelling is the least productive way to handle kids. Researchers have found that tweens and teens whose parents yelled for discipline suffer from increased behavioural issues and become violent. Another study tells that yelling can lower a child’s self-esteem and increase the likelihood of depression. In addition, it just hikes up the family stress level a lot more. That’s why finding techniques to help you yell less, and breathe more is a resolution worth making.
5. Slow Down
Transitions are some of the most difficult moments of parenting. These are the times when we are trying to get kids from one mode to another. For example: to put their shoes and socks on to go out for school or to put away their toys and brush their teeth before going to bed. Some of these transitions can’t be avoided, but many times we create rushed transitions by over-scheduling ourselves. You can try to resolve to schedule fewer after-school activities and social engagements this year. Reducing activities and tasks from your and your child’s list each day can make family life more calm and enjoyable.
6. End Your Work Day
Set limits to when you’re in “work mode”, especially when most of us are working from home because of a pandemic. For example, you may want to set a rule that you won’t check emails after 6 p.m. or before 8 a.m. even if they keep coming. Your work gets your attention all day, there has to be your kid’s turn as well in the day. Resolve to be present for your child and unplugged from other activities for a certain time each day.
7. Focus on the Positive
Research tells us that the brain tends to recall negative events more accurately than positive ones. It is impossible to avoid disciplining your kids but if you balance it by creating two positive interactions for every negative one, it will help you as a parent. Positive interactions may include a simple smile, a loving gesture, hugs and kisses, praise for a job well done, or an ice cream if needed.
8. Practice Self Care
To be a happy and calm parent you should take care of yourself by getting enough sleep, exercise, eating healthy food, and taking some much-needed downtime. Create a self-care plan that’s both realistic and effective when it comes to keeping you happy and sane. Take counselling for parents if needed for the same.
9. Make Time for Your Partner
Parents who make time for each other to get along better are able to better teach kids how to develop their own loving relationships when they grow up. By doing so, you create a positive environment which is less stressful for your children to grow up in. You can opt for coaching for parents to identify activities together as parents.
10. Join Sessions on Counselling For Parents
It is never wrong to learn things to make yourself better. Try and join the parent tribes who are getting coaching on parenting so that you can learn techniques for building a happy home for your kids. Counselling for parents is prevalent for all ages of parents and can help you align your goals in an achievable and practical way possible.
Author Name – Deepti Arora
Occupation – Owner and DMIT Expert at Disha Deepan.
Website Link – https://dishadeepan.com/
Email – [email protected]
About the Author – Deepti Arora is a very experienced DMIT expert at Disha Deepan. She provides expert counselling for career, parenting, academics, corporates, partner compatibility, stress management, and lifestyle management based upon the biometric analysis of an individual.